Secret Diary of a PM – The Language of Primary Care

By Anonymous Blogger
In
Posted Monday November 11, 2019

Secret Diary of a PM – The Language of Primary Care

How many times do we wish for some light relief from our hectic workload? I came across some ‘new medical terminology’ recently and thought I would share it with my fellow PMs – I hope you enjoy it!

Without further ado, here is some brand new medical terminology for 2019:

Artery The study of fine paintings

Benign What you will be after you’re eight

Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome

Enema Not a friend

Fester Quicker than the alternative

Fibula A small lie

Medical Staff A doctor’s cane

Nitrates Often cheaper than day rates

Pelvis The second coming of Elvis?

Recovery Room A place to do the upholstery

Secretion The act of hiding something

Seizure A former Roman Emperor

Tablet A small table

Urine The opposite of ‘you’re out’

If that wasn’t enough fun for one week, we recently had an elderly patient call our receptionist with a very unusual complaint. Noting that she knew we were not responsible, she told us her TV was not working and she just wanted a moan because no-one else would listen!

The Quirks of Recruiting in Primary Care

Recruiting for some roles often brings a chuckle - this week we had a ‘Sandwich Artiste’ apply for an admin role, leading to much confusion. When we asked for further details, it turned out they were working at Subway.

Another potential candidate was a grave digger who said they had excellent people skills and had no complaints in their day job! I suppose they’re not too likely to, are they?

Add to that a person who played Father Christmas each year and enquired about whether they could have every December off! Honestly, you couldn’t make it up.

If you’re interested in more traditional medical terminology, head to our guide to medical terminology for PMs. For a more in-depth insight, why not look into primary care training specialist Thornfields’ highly popular course Medical Terminology for Non-Clinical Staff.